Divorce sucks. Divorce is dark. Divorce is expensive, as it takes it toll on self, children, finances, social standing.
Yet, divorce is also a necessary threshold to cross.
Children no longer hear arguing, as they now hear the silence of contentment and security. They now get the chance to experience their parents as adults recognizing what true, real, and unconditional love can look like. This is so important for them. Yes, the inflated vision they had of family and their future is punctured, yet they are still surrounded my loving parents experiencing their own newfound joy and freedom to live their own fulfilling lives. As Sigmund Freud once stated, (paraphrasing here), the greatest damage a parent can do to their child is to live and unfulfilled life. Thus, the door opening of divorce, can allow this fulfillment.
A man learns to take care of himself, as well as his children and community. Eating alone 3 1/2 nights a week, after years of cooking meals for 5. A man learns he is now estranged and even exiled from his longtime community and social events. "Wait. Am I the 'bad guy' now? What did I do to THEM?", he wonders. Realizing that is THEIR issue, and not mine. Walk on. Look ahead.
Self love grows out of holes and voids once left unattended, or filled with poisons of martyrdom, selfishness, or demons of demise.
Respect for an ex that lives and parents responsibly. Gratitude for those friends and family members that offer their support. Everything is new. Everything.
Walk on. Look ahead.
Children see their dad find a new true love. Fairy tale love. Light through the darkness. Suit up and show up. Walk OVER those crashing waves. The world is what you want it to be. As SHE taught me: Its never too late to live happily ever after.
Walk on. Look ahead. See the light.